Sex that is one click away...that can be found in private at home or in the office...that offers anything a person could imagine...all through the Internet. The Internet can be a source of erotic fantasy, pornography, illicit relationships and cyber affairs, all of which can devastate a person's family life and career. Clinical psychologist Al Cooper of Stanford University states that "Sex on the Internet has been called the crack cocaine of sexual compulsivity". He places the number of online sex addicts at more than 200,000 nationwide.
The number of cases of online sexual addiction increases daily. Dr. Cooper calls the increase the "triple A effect": accessibility, affordability, and anonymity.
Accessibility:Sexual material is just a click away. Sex is the number one researched subject on the internet. Individuals who use sex as an outlet for stress, emotional pain, loneliness or boredom are quickly pulled into the web of easy access. After the purchase of a computer, the only cost is often the monthly connection fee which can be less than a dollar a day. There is a double-edged sword to affordability: the inexpensive access can lead to accumulation of large credit card charges to Internet sex businesses.
Anonymity:No one knows who is really on the other end of an Internet connection. A person can pretend to be anyone they want to be: any age, weight, height, gender, etc. Individuals who are inherently shy can be outgoing and uninhibited.
What is a cyber affair? Cyber affairs start online. They can be sexually exciting because they are based in fantasy. People can project whatever they want on their cyber partners. Dreams, fantasies, desires that have never been spoken can present themselves through the keyboard and the "send" key. When cyber sexual encounters become compulsive they can destroy relationships. Individuals spending more than 10 hours a week in online sex activities enter the realm of loss of control. Such activities can interfere with work and family life. The more internet sex increases the greater the increase in depression and isolation. Computer use is inherently isolative. When coupled with fantasy role play individuals cross boundaries into their own cyber sexual world.
Many times individuals will feel the desire or need to physically make contact with their cyber connection. There have been cases of middle-age individuals meeting up with teenagers who expected to meet another teen. Often, fantasy on the computer is replaced by the reality of meeting in the flesh where our true selves are apparent. Best case scenario is that individuals see the encounter at face value. Many times, though, individuals are hurt, kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or worse. Because online sex addiction can be so gratifying there is little motivation for seeking help. Sex in our culture is something people have difficulty discussing and many individuals are uncomfortable talking about sex let alone sexual addiction problems.
Internet Addiction Survey
Internet use can become addictive. The following screening tool can provide an indication of addictive Internet use. The survey is from the Center for Online Addiction at www.netaddiction.com.
1. Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet (do you think about previous online activity or anticipate your next online session)?
2. Do you feel the need to use the Internet for increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction?
3. Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back or stop Internet use?
4. Do you feel restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use?
5. Do you stay online longer than originally intended?
6. Have you jeopardized or risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?
7. Have you lied to family members, therapists or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the internet?
8. Do you use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression, etc.)?
Answering yes to five or more of these questions probably means the Internet is creating a problem. Researchers say the cutoff score of "five" is consistent with the number of criteria used for pathological gambling and is seen as an adequate number of criteria to differentiate normal from pathological addictive Internet use.
